6. The teenager is a social being. Peers are more important to him than parents. This is a common cause of conflicts in the family. Unfortunately, this is a normal stage of maturation. In the future, your child will work and live among peers. But if it is right to build relationships with his friends, it will improve your relationship with him.
It is very important that your teenager’s friends be at your home. Even if they are used on most of the time they spend in his room – it’s like they are in your home. They sit with you at the table, you see them. And if you want to know your child’s friends, hear their conversations, see what they do, make your home hospitable and warm for them.
Be friendly and interested with them, take part in their problems, try to help in their difficulties. If something hurt you in these guys, it seemed strange, you can ask: “You know, I don’t understand what is in it …”. Or: “Do you think this is normal for her, or was she just shy and said this and that from embarrassment?”
Parents are often afraid that their grown-up children will have dangerous friends who will teach them to be bad. It should be borne in mind that truly dangerous people are rare and immediately become noticeable. In most cases, the friends of your teenager are quite ordinary children, with their own characteristics, and in no case should they be perceived with prejudice.
If you do not like some boy or girl surrounded by your child, think about how attractive he is for the guys and maybe you will find features that you will like and reconcile with this friendship.
And, of course, the bans in the spirit of “I forbid you to communicate with Petya! I forbid even to greet Lena! ”Such bans instantly lead to the fact that your child begins to lie to you. In adolescence, he will find a lot of ways to deceive parents and do what he sees fit.
Sometimes parents have to communicate with a whole group of peers of their child. For example, on a trip from school, at some competitions, on camping trips, and so on. Here an important principle: being in the company of teenagers, you need to listen for a long time. Silently. And only if you can say something interesting or funny to the word (by no means moralizing!) – here you can insert your three pennies. And the style of conversation should be exactly the same as with your own buddies, adult normal people.
Next: a teenager sooner or later enters the age of first love, he has “hobbies”. And here parents should be as delicate as possible. If he himself talks about this – you need to listen. Your benevolent attention in this case is even more important than what you say. Sometimes it makes sense to share your personal experience, some of your stories when you were at their age. But in no case can one invent anything based on “pedagogical considerations”. There was something to share, tell. No – then just listen and sympathize. If you ask for advice – advise, if not – hold back, keep silent. The intimate sphere is intimate and intimate, that they do not break into there, even with the best of intentions.
All About Child Guide 